The Receipt

(The kitchen, evening. Liam opens the fridge.)

Liam: Where’s my milk?

Marcus: What milk?

Liam: The pint I bought this morning.

Marcus: Oh. Yeah, I may have used that.

Liam: An entire pint.

Marcus: I was making tea. I thought you’d left it for general use.

Liam: I never said general use. I never even said you could have it.

Marcus: To be fair, you left it on the middle shelf.

Liam: The middle shelf isn’t an invitation, Marcus.

Marcus: I’m sorry. I’ll replace it.

Liam: It’s forty pence. That’s not the point.

Marcus: I already bought you two litres. To be safe.

(He opens the fridge wider. There’s a glass bottle with a handwritten label.)

Liam: That’s oat milk.

Marcus: From the shop on Bethnal Green Road.

Liam: That shop charges six pounds a litre.

Marcus: I felt bad. There’s also a receipt if you want to return it.

Liam: Return your guilt?

Marcus: I thought that was what people did.

Liam: Marcus. I just wanted tea.