Soup of the Day
(Backstage at Kingsway High, ten minutes before the talent show.)
Divya: Your hands are shaking.
Luka: That’s energy. Comedy actors need energy.
Divya: You’re not an actor. You’ve got three jokes about the canteen.
Luka: Four. And they’re fantastic.
Divya: Tell me one.
Luka: Okay so. Our canteen has soup of the day. But which day?
Divya: …
Luka: You’re not laughing.
Divya: I’m sixteen, not dead. That’s not a joke, that’s a question.
Luka: Wonderful. I’m on in nine minutes.
Divya: What actually made you laugh today? Really.
Luka: Honestly? The microphone. It made that terrible noise in the practice, and our history teacher jumped.
Divya: That. Do that.
Luka: I can’t talk about a microphone for four minutes.
Divya: You talked about it for ten seconds and I laughed. Better than the soup.
Luka: And what are you doing? Singing a pop song from before we were born.
Divya: It was a huge hit. The teachers will sing along. That’s called reading the audience.
The speakers whistle. Somebody in the hall shouts.
Luka: …Okay. That’s my opening.
Divya: See? They’re already laughing and nobody’s on the stage yet.
Luka: Go and sing. I’ve got work to do.