Question Nineteen

(Carmen's kitchen in Pilsen, Chicago, on a Tuesday morning. The washing machine is full of water and towels. She's been on hold for nineteen minutes.)

Rohan: Warranty support, this is Rohan. Can I take your model number?

Carmen: It's WA-4400. It stopped in the middle. There's water everywhere.

Rohan: Thank you. And what caused it?

Carmen: I don't know. That's why I'm calling you.

Rohan: Of course. Have you turned the machine off and on again?

Carmen: Twice.

Rohan: Have you turned it off at the wall?

Carmen: Three times.

Rohan: Great. I have some questions here on my screen. There are nineteen of them.

Carmen: Nineteen?

Rohan: I have to ask them all. It's the system, not me.

Carmen: Okay. Go.

(Six minutes pass.)

Rohan: Question fourteen. Is the machine standing on a flat floor?

Carmen: Rohan, my kitchen is a lake.

Rohan: I'll write “yes.” Question fifteen. If we send you a part, do you want standard mail or express?

Carmen: Look, I'll just deal with this myself. I'll call a repairman.

Rohan: Question nineteen.

Carmen: I said I'll call a—

Rohan: Question nineteen. The little door at the bottom, on the right. Is it open?

Carmen: Hold on.

Carmen: …It's open. I cleaned it on Sunday.

Rohan: Close it.

(Carmen closes the little door. The machine makes a noise and starts to work.)

Carmen: Oh, you're joking.

Rohan: That's question nineteen. Most people hang up at question six.