Unexpected Item
(The self-checkout at the Safeway on Pine Street, six thirty on a Tuesday. One basket: milk, bananas, and a box of tea.)
Machine: Welcome! Please scan your first item.
You: Fine. This is fine. I’ve only got three things.
(You scan the tea and put it in the bag.)
Machine: Unexpected item in the bagging area. Please remove this item.
You: It’s the tea. You just scanned the tea.
Machine: Please remove this item.
You: Okay. Okay.
Machine: Item removed. Please put the item back in the bag.
You: Back? You told me to take it out.
Machine: Please wait. Help is coming.
Staff: Hey. What’s it doing?
You: It doesn’t like the tea.
Staff: Yeah, it doesn’t like light things. Put your hand in the bag and just leave it there.
You: Like this?
Staff: Perfect. Works every time. There’s a guide on the screen, by the way. Nobody’s ever read it.
You: Does it help?
Staff: No.
Machine: Thank you! Please take your bag.
You: That’s it? I can go?
Machine: How was your visit today? Please choose a happy face or a sad face.
(You look at the screen for a long moment. Then you press the sad face.)
Machine: Thank you! Have a great evening.