The First Candidate

(A meeting room on the fourth floor at Harlow & Bright. Desmond has moved the chairs twice.)

Desmond: Sorry, take a seat. Anywhere. Not that one, it’s broken.

Oksana: Thanks.

Desmond: Right. So. I’ve read your application. Very impressive. You’ve been at your current company for, um, four years?

Oksana: Five in March.

Desmond: Five. Sorry. Five. Okay, so, if you had to describe your management style—

Oksana: Can I ask you something first?

Desmond: That’s normally at the end.

Oksana: You’ve asked me two questions and looked at the door three times. Are you all right?

Desmond: Honestly? You’re the first candidate I’ve ever interviewed. The director told me on Tuesday that I was doing it, and then she flew to Lisbon.

Oksana: Okay.

Desmond: And there’s been nobody in this role since April, so I’ve been doing that job and my own. I’ve been sleeping about five hours.

Oksana: That’s what I wanted to know.

Desmond: That the team’s a mess?

Oksana: That it’s real. In my last three interviews, everybody told me the team was highly successful and the role was a wonderful opportunity, and nobody could tell me what I’d actually be doing on the Monday.

Desmond: On the Monday you’d be doing the January report, because I haven’t started it.

Oksana: And what would you be doing?

Desmond: Sleeping.

Oksana: Then ask me your management question, and write the answer down this time. Your director’s going to want to know why you hired me.

Desmond: So. Can I put you down as interested?

Oksana: You can put me down as available from the fourteenth.