Half for You
I stay at my aunt's flat in Leeds. We share everything.
Aunt: We share the cake. Half for you, half for me.
Me: Okay. That's fair.
Aunt: We share the work too. Half for you, half for me.
Me: Hmm. A few jobs for me, then?
Aunt: Yes. You wash the cups. I dry them.
Me: That's not half! You do the easy part.
Aunt: Drying is hard work!
Me: It's a quarter of the work. Maybe less.
Aunt: And who eats more cake? You, or me?
Me: …Me.
Aunt: So you eat a lot, and you work a little.
Me: When you say it like that, it sounds worse.
Aunt: Cake or cups. Which is better?
Me: Cake. Cake is much better than cups.
Aunt: Then wash the cups, and eat your half.