Fifteen Minutes on a Small Chair

Your first parent-teacher conference is in two weeks. Here’s what it’s actually like.

It’s short. Ten minutes, maybe fifteen. There’s another parent waiting outside the door, so the teacher will watch the clock. That isn’t because she isn’t interested. It’s because there are twenty-six other families.

You’ll sit on a small chair. Everybody sits on a small chair. Don’t try to look comfortable.

The teacher will start with something good about your child. Listen to that part, because it’s true, and because in three minutes you’ll only remember the other part.

Then she’ll tell you what your child needs to work on. This is the part to discuss. Ask how it looks in the classroom. Ask what you can do at home on a normal Tuesday night: not a big plan, one small thing.

Then come the grades. A grade is a letter, and a letter isn’t an explanation. If you don’t understand a B in reading, say so. “What can he do now, and what can’t he do yet?” is a good question, and a good teacher likes it.

Bring your question on paper. At minute nine you’ll forget it.

And at the end, ask one more: “Who does my child eat lunch with?” The teacher will know. That answer tells you more about your child’s week than any grade on the page.