The Biggest Groan

Every summer we have a big barbecue in Grandpa Joe's backyard. And every summer there's a dad-joke competition. The rule is simple: the joke that gets the biggest groan wins.

My uncle goes first. “Why is it hard to keep a secret on a farm? Because the potatoes have eyes and the corn has ears!”

Everybody groans. My uncle looks very happy.

Then it's my turn. I try my best joke. “What do you call a bear with no teeth? A gummy bear!” A few people laugh, but nobody really groans. Not good enough.

Grandpa Joe stands up last. He waits. He loves to wait.

“Why is the ocean so friendly?” he asks.

Nobody knows.

“Because it always waves!” he says, and he waves his hand at us like a little kid.

The groan is enormous. It's the biggest groan of the day. My little sister covers her face. My mom shakes her head. Even the dog looks tired.

But Grandpa Joe grins. He isn't sad about the groan. The groan is the whole point.

“That's how you win,” he says. “A good joke makes you laugh. A great joke makes you groan.”

He wins every year. Now I know why.