Enough Oil

(Lachlan’s kitchen in Portland. His grandmother’s recipe card is taped to the cupboard.)

Lachlan: Grandma, the card just says enough oil. Enough for what?

Zora: Until the bottom of the pan shines. My program starts at eight.

Lachlan: Two minutes. Then it says a bit of heat.

Zora: Medium. Not high. You always want it high.

Lachlan: I don’t always want it high.

Zora: You burned my rice cooker.

Lachlan: That was one time.

Zora: Use the big knife on the onions. That’s why you’re slow.

Lachlan: How do you know I’m slow?

Zora: I can hear you. And stir with a fork, not a spoon.

Lachlan: Fine. The sauce should be sweet but not sweet.

Zora: One spoon of sugar. Then it’s sweet but not sweet.

Lachlan: Then cook until it smells right. What does right smell like?

Zora: Don’t smell it. Hold the phone over the pan.

(He holds the phone over the pan.)

Zora: That’s water. Four more minutes.

(Four minutes later, he holds the phone over the pan again.)

Zora: Off the heat. Now. Taste it.

Lachlan: It tastes exactly like yours.

Zora: Why is that a surprise? Next time, don’t call me. Listen to the pan.